RELIEF OF PARTICULAR SYMPTOMS FOR SELF-MANAGEMENT OF ANXIETY: FRIGIDITY

Tension is the great enemy of free sexual response. Any woman who reduces her general level of anxiety finds that her sexual response is fuller, more spontaneous, and more satisfying. This is the experience of psychiatrists working with quite different methods of treatment. The relaxing exercises reduce anxiety, and will work to increase a natural response, both physical and emotional.

There are, however, some particular exercises which will help the frigid woman further. We have discussed the way in which muscles are brought to relax, and at the same time the relaxation is felt in the mind. Do the exercises lying on the floor, and feel the relaxation in your thighs. When your muscles are really relaxed your legs will roll outward from the weight of your feet. Now feel the relaxation in your mind.

Relaxed.

Legs rolled out.

Thighs relaxed.

Inside of them relaxed.

Feel it in my mind.

You can go further than this by learning to feel the relaxation of the parts concerned. Remember that this is something quite natural. There is no reason to feel in any way complicated about it. Most of us have been brought up, either directly or indirectly, to avoid sensations in these parts, to avoid feeling anything there at all. This of course is probably a factor in your present difficulty. There are two sets of muscles in which you can learn to experience the “letting go” feeling. There are the muscles around the opening of the vagina, and in the vagina itself. There are also deeper muscles which stretch across from the bones in these parts. Do not think that this is getting too complicated. Although you cannot see these muscles, you can quite easily learn to feel them relax. It is the experience of this feeling which helps you a great deal in the freedom of your response. Remember once again that this is a very natural way of gaining help. We have been indirectly taught to deny any feelings in this area. In a natural way we are just bringing our mind to relearn how to experience it.

It is easiest to feel the relaxation of these deeper muscles if you do the exercises in a sitting position. The reason for this is that the weight of the organs on the muscles pushes them down when they relax, and then the sensation of their contracting again is easily felt.

Do not think that I am involving you in something difficult. Actually it is remarkably simple. Just allow yourself a little time and practice, and you will find that you can relax and contract these muscles at will. At first the contraction will be easier to feel than the relaxation. Then when you have the relaxation, feel it in your mind. More than this, really experience it.

Relaxed.

Feel it there.

Free.

Free all through me.

It’s natural.

It’s good.

The freedom of the emotion follows the freedom of the muscles. It may take just a little time, but if you stick to it you will achieve the relaxation you want.

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