It has been suggested that the way a boy’s parents relate to each other provides his first and most important model of heterosexual relationships and therefore notably influences his sexual orientation. Thus, if his parents appear to have a warm, loving, and satisfying relationship, a boy may be likely to believe that basic human needs can best be fulfilled in a heterosexual relationship. On the other hand, if their relationship seems hostile and unrewarding, the boy might be discouraged from developing heterosexual interests and thus be predisposed toward homosexuality.
Psychoanalytic theory posits additional ways in which the interparental relationship might affect a boy’s sexual orientation It maintains, for example, that there is an “Oedipal period” during which a young boy experiences strong sexual attractions to his mother and hostile feelings toward his father; during this period, it is thought, he hopes to displace his father. When a strong parental coalition exists, according to this theory, the boy concludes that his mother is content with the way things are. He then gives up the hope that he can take his father’s place, identifies with his father, and eventually seeks another female to whom he can feel close. This sequence is thought to explain the development of heterosexuality in males.
Conversely, the same theory has posited that a weak interparental bond may predispose a boy toward homosexuality. Such circumstances, it is thought, lead the boy to believe that his “Oedipal” fantasies are actually being fulfilled and that he is, in fact, responsible for the tension between his parents. In this view, the boy might feel pleased about his apparent victory but also feel unequal to the role he has won; this feeling of inadequacy may later be transferred to his relationships with other females. According to this theory, the boy would also be likely to anticipate punishment from his displaced father, to perceive his father as hostile, and to have difficulty identifying with his father.
There is some empirical evidence that the parents of prehomosexual boys have less-satisfactory relationships than do those of preheterosexual boys. For example, studies have found that, compared with their heterosexual counterparts, homosexual men are more likely to describe their parents as unhappily married; physically or verbally fighting with each other; or weakly allied. The mothers of homosexual men have been described as cold toward their husbands, preferring their sons to their husbands, and allying with their sons against their husbands.
Other researchers have found that a relatively high incidence of marital dissolution (through death, divorce, or separation) exists among the parents of homosexual males. In the same vein, several studies have concluded that prehomosexual boys are more likely than their heterosexual counterparts to grow up in fatherless homes. Such a state of affairs is thought to contribute to a “confused” gender identity on the part of boys whose fathers are absent during their formative years and thus, indirectly, to a homosexual orientation.
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