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AREN’T WE ALL CONCERNED WITH HOW WE LOOK? GETTING DOWN ON YOURSELF People with BDD tend to feel negatively about themselves as a person because of their appearance flaws. As item 3 on Table 11 shows, people with BDD report that the perceived appearance defect has a fairly big influence on how they judge themselves as a person in a nonphysical sense (for example, thinking that the appearance flaws make them uninteresting or undesirable). They also say that the appearance defect is important to how they judge themselves as a person in comparison to other personal characteristics such as their personality, intelligence, life values, and ability at work. However, people with BDD tend to believe that other people judge them only slightly negatively as a person because of their defect. So people with BDD seem to judge themselves more harshly and negatively as a person than they think other people do.It’s interesting that while the perceived appearance defect has a fairly strong influence on how people with BDD evaluate themselves as a person, Dr. Veale found that most people with BDD judge other people on the basis of many factors, rather than appearance. In a similar vein, Dr. Wilhelm found that when rating the attractiveness of photos, including their own, people with BDD underestimated their own attractiveness and overestimated the attractiveness of beautiful faces. Taken together, these findings suggest that people with BDD are harder on themselves than they are on others. This might be expected to fuel anxiety, depression, shame, and low self-esteem, which in turn may further amplify negative evaluation of oneself and appearance preoccupations.*218\204\8*

There are a variety of unproven methods of administering immunotherapy being given patients today. These controversial methods are practiced almost exclusively by physicians who are not specialists in allergy and immunology, a comment that should speak for itself. So, if immunotherapy has been recommended for you or your child, ask questions:
- Is the physician providing the immunotherapy a specialist in allergy and immunology?
- If not, is there such a specialist in your area?
- Is the physician providing the immunotherapy using a method considered unproven or controversial by most allergy specialists? (Those using such methods ate fully aware of their unproven or controversial nature.)
- What are the reasons that the physician is recommending an unproven or controversial mode of treatment rather than using a scientifically proven method?
- What are the reasons that you or your children are not being referred to a properly trained specialist for consultation before such is undertaken?
This is no time to be bashful. Immunotherapy is an expensive, time-consuming form of therapy. Ask questions. If you are going to receive a controversial form of therapy, you deserve to know that it is considered controversial. So, get answers. It is only through asking questions and receiving answers that you will be able to make an informed decision regarding the recommended immunotherapy plan.
Unproven methods can be offered for several reasons, none of which are very flattering to the profession of medicine. First, neither the vulnerable public nor most of the non-allergist medical world have any ideas which methods are considered proven and which are not. Second, fear of restraint-of-trade lawsuits by physicians who employ unproven methods prevents local, state, and national medical societies that are aware of these problems from acting on their concerns. Third, federal regulations (imposed by the Federal Trade Commission) make it very difficult, if not impossible, for the medical profession to properly control the actions of its members. Unfortunately, it is the patients who suffer from all of this confusion.
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Infertility – the Pros and Cons of Hormone Treatment Women who would love to have children but remain childless often do everything in their power to fulfil their natural desire. This is understandable, since an unfulfilled yearning for children may lead to severe mental and emotional suffering. There are, of course, some women who have little or no desire at all for a child. Although they do not suffer by not having children, they do miss out on the joys of motherhood and the many natural pleasures which children bring to the home.

Some, however, immediately resort to the alternative course to overcome infertility since it may possibly assure quicker results, that of hormone treatment, especially treatment with gonadotro­pins. There are, however, certain risks involved. The degree of sensitivity of the female body varies greatly from one individual to the next and it is not easy for a doctor to find the right dose. Most people will be aware of the unpredictable results that an overdose of hormones can have. It is possible that a number of eggs become ready to be fertilised, resulting in twins, triplets or an even greater number of children. This would certainly be too much of a good thing, even for the woman who may have suffered previously on account of her childlessness. It is therefore preferable to try out the first solution, stimulating the hormone-producing glands in a natural way. Only if these efforts fail should one contemplate hormone treatment as a last resort.
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Anyone who appreciates the importance of proper nutrition will readily understand that the food of the mother-to-be should be as natural and free from additives as possible. As regards quantity, she need not eat more than she was used to before she became pregnant.

A pregnant woman should make sure to inhale plenty of oxygen to guarantee the best conditions for the child’s development. This is best achieved by undertaking activities outdoors in the fresh air, for example by taking walks through forests, woods and fields. On the other hand, busy roads and streets with a lot of traffic polluting the air should be avoided.
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Frostbite is the name for the condition of the skin when it has been exposed to extreme cold, and has turned white and cold.

Cause

Direct exposure to extreme cold freezes the tissues in the area temporarily. Clinical features

The most commonly affected parts of the body are the fingers and toes, although other extremities such as the nose and earlobes can also be affected. The skin is white and cold, and your child may complain of tingling and numbness in the affected area. Frostbite may occur after a child has played in the snow without wearing adequate clothing such as waterproof gloves and shoes. It may also occur in an instant if your child touches very cold metal.

Treatment

The quicker the frostbitten area is warmed up, the better. The quickest way to do this is with a warm bath, but make sure you do not make the water so hot that it will scald your child. The rewarming process may take up to half an hour, and your child may start to complain of pain as the frostbite reverses. A pinkish-red colour should return to the affected area if rewarming has been successful. Be very careful to rewarm the area slowly and gently. Do not place the frostbitten part directly in front of a heater, as the skin is very sensitive and can readily burn.

When to see your doctor

• if blisters appear in the frostbitten area;

• if the above measures are not effective;

• if your child is drowsy, shivering;

• if your child was exposed to extreme conditions of cold.

Prevention

Frostbite can be avoided by ensuring that your child is dressed warmly, including hat, gloves and warm socks and shoes. When you go to the snow, make sure that your child has waterproof clothing.

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Sometimes parents will not be entirely happy with the diagnosis, treatment or advice offered by a doctor. This is perfectly natural, and does not necessarily mean that the doctor is wrong. It is important to be open and frank and discuss your uncertainties with him. If you still do not feel completely comfortable or satisfied, you should consider obtaining a second opinion, from another general practitioner, a paediatrician or other medical specialist, or at the children’s hospital. You may particularly want to do this if you are worried about the condition of your child, or if the doctor has recommended hospitalisation, special tests or a costly or complicated course of treatment.

Obtaining a second opinion is standard medical practice, and while some doctors may be defensive when you raise the issue, they should agree, and even recommend someone whom you might see. In fact, it may be the doctor who raises the possibility, if he senses that you are not entirely happy. It is helpful if he writes a letter to the other doctor, or calls and arranges the appointment. Often the second doctor will wish to know details of earlier consultations, or the results of tests or X-rays. It is then customary for the second doctor to write back to your referring doctor with his opinion.

If the second opinion confirms the advice given by your usual doctor, then this should renew your confidence in your doctor. If the second opinion is different, then you will need to decide how to proceed.

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PELVIC-REFLEX ADDICTION (maladaptive hypersexuality): I can’t get enough. I can sit in my car in the shopping mall and see a good-looking woman. My hips will hump a little and I might move my hand down and rub my penis. I would screw every good-looking woman in the world if I could. I think I do in my own mind. One partner would never be enough for me. Maybe not even one at a time.

HUSBAND

The loss of intimacy in sexual interaction and the replacement of intimacy with thrusting and contractions was reported by 244 of the men. They felt that their sexual experience had become pelvic and that they were addicted to their need for pelvic release. Sex for them was not sex if there was no pelvic contraction.

I can get it done well. I am very responsive . . . hyperresponsive . . . a nymphomaniac maybe. I love to do it. I ride him fast and hard. It’s like I devour him. I’d like to get every stud I could. You know what they say. The more the better.

WIFE

One hundred and two women reported the problem of pelvic-reflex addiction. Their vocabulary revealed a genital focus, an emphasis on contractive release that distracted them not only from intimacy but sometimes from daily life activities. Whether or not men and women can truly be “addicted” to sex is not clear and is now debated in the research literature. My couples indicated that there was a habitual focus on pelvic contraction at the expense of partner or relationship focus that resembled the dibilitating life distraction of alcoholism and other substance abuse.

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I work, I wash, I clean, I cook, I parent, I give up!

WIFE

I help out around the house.    

Husband

Big deal! I’m used to dust.

SUGGESTED GRAVESTONE EPITAPH BY ERMA BOMBECK

IMBALANCE:

UNEQUAL DIVISION OF TASKS: RESPONSIBILITY FOR MARITAL SEX TO ONE PARTNER

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TENDING TOWARD    TENDING TOWARD

BALANCE    IMBALANCE

Do you feel that your marriage includes a shared approach to the problems of daily living, including the erotic life of your marriage (balance)? Or, does it seem that one of you is more responsible for things, that it is one partner’s house, one partner’s “job” to initiate sexual encounters (imbalance)?

Remember the idea of “flowing” in systems as you score your marriage on this item. All marriages must have imbalance or there could be no growth in the system. Sometimes one partner has to carry the entire burden, perhaps because of illness or work obligations on the part of the spouse. Super marriages are well enough balanced to have plenty of imbalance. As a child learning to ride a two-wheeler, eventually a safe range between imbalance and corrective balance is maintained. Some falling is needed for learning to occur.

You very seldom hear about a woman who is home “babysitting” her own children, but wives will sometimes report that their husbands are “babysitting,” as if his children were not really his but instead some type of marital obligation. It is still rare to hear a woman state, “I even did the wash” or “I cleaned up his kitchen for him.” Sex rules may be changing, but if my couples are any indication, not very quickly.

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